


the last one

by dotexotic



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Feels, just angst maybe, maybe? - Freeform, no beta we die like men, sad boop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:20:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotexotic/pseuds/dotexotic
Summary: This is a short drabble I wrote for the pen and paper RPG i've been doing with some friends. Technically, its based in the Serenity universe, but knowledge of it is not required to read this.(im very new to writing, so hopefully it makes sense.)





	the last one

The patch over her eye itched sometimes.

Looking up at the night sky, she sucked a long drag from her cigarette. Bud would be pissed at her for picking up such a habit. He was always a bit of a health freak; hitting the gym more often than any person should. 

Despite his outward demeanor, Bud was actually a stickler for the rules, even after the fall of Borous. He always made sure his combats were clean and tucked in properly. Boot laces were tied tight and straight. His daily security rounds. Never missing a shift. He didn't need to keep doing it, but he did. 

He wasn't doing it for himself or the ship, she realized this afterwards, he was doing it for the rest of us. It was something that was normal. Something that was consistent. Something that kept us on track. Something that kept us sane. 

Breathing out the smoke, a chill went down her spine. She wasn't sure she could do this. She absently reached into her pocket, reaching for a wrinkled and torn sheet of paper. Carefully unfolding it, she looked at the last sign-in sheet for the crew. There were red lines crossed through names, some were written MIA... most had KIA. 

No, she laughed weakly at herself. She _had_ to do this: She was the only one left. 

 

-

It was the anniversary of them abandoning the TrueBurst. There was no plaque, there was no memorial. They were a nameless group stuck between two sides of a pointless war. A ragtag bunch trying (and failing) to make a difference. They thought they were invincible, but alas, she wouldn't be standing alone if they were. 

She sighed, frowning down at her bag. To anyone else, it was a bag filled with odds and ends. She had tried to come up with some sort of memorial for each of them. A muffin for Theo. A craft beer for Simmons. A utility knife for Sokolov. A model ship for Lee... 

She took each one out, carefully arranging them around the fire. Seating them like how they would sit at their morning meetings. Sitting back to admire her work, she wrapped her arms around her knees, a lump forming in her throat. She thought this would be easier somehow.

This is it. This is all that's left. She squeezed her eyes shut fighting back the tears, swallowing a choked sob. All of her friends reduced to a pile of trinkets. Toys. Garbage. 

It would never be enough. There was no taking back the decisions she made that day. There was no telling them she was sorry. No telling them that she'd take everything back in a heart beat. 

She never saved them. She never saved anybody. All she ever did was kill people. A murderer. Herd the cattle for slaughter. Better yet, a butcher. Fuck, she really couldn't do this. She should have been the one who stayed back on the ship while they escaped.

She slammed her fists into the ground and screamed at the fire. Why did she have to be the one who lived? Why was she--

A sudden gust a wind interrupted her thoughts. 

The deafening silence was her answer.


End file.
